“Do you miss people?”

When I mention that I work for myself, I can always tell the more social types, because this is the first thing they ask.  It’s funny because depending on the day, I totally vacillate as to whether or not I miss people.

On one hand, I miss being able to exchange ideas in conversation.  I miss the nuance that comes from a facial expression rather than an email or an instant message. I miss being able to run to grab coffee around the corner for a break.  I miss seeing the full sweep of office politics.

I don’t miss the constant grind of meetings.  I don’t miss coworkers looking for an excuse to waste some time. I don’t miss having to put on a happy face for 9 hours when things aren’t going well. And I *really* don’t miss enforced fun (aka “team building exercises”)

The first time I worked remotely it was hard – I was close to everyone in my office, and I left to move back home.  I found it hard to stay motivated, and days went by when the only person I saw was my roommate.

The second time I worked remotely (yes, I’ve done this more than once) it was almost effortless.  My major job tasks required a lot of concentration and being able to manage the noise and distraction level really helped me get things done.  From a productivity standpoint, I was a rockstar and I loved working on my own. At the same time, I was (again) very close to my office mates and had moved to a new city where I knew virtually no one, so it was lonely.  I went back to the office once a month because keeping those ties were incredibly important. I almost had the best of both worlds.

At the start of my consulting career, I was effectively doing the same things I’d done at my old job but I wasn’t working on a team. My client was two time zones away and I wasn’t on the phone all day long.  It was really lonely, but I did try to connect to the outside world more frequently. By the time I went into consulting full time in 2009, I had several clients in town.  Over the past two years I’ve been able to cobble together that allows me to get my work done while also engaging with other people – clients, friends and other people in my industry – with whom I can exchange ideas.

Here are a few things that I recommend you do to keep yourself connected:

• Get some facetime with your clients – Email, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Skype…etc….is great but it doesn’t give you the real nuances of a person. I try to meet with my clients in person somewhat regularly – for some it probably feels like I drop by daily, but for others it’s scheduled. Getting that time with them can give you some cues to how a project is  going, and some understanding of the person behind the emails/phone calls/etc.
• Find a professional organization – I’ve been really bad about going to local events in the last year or so due to childcare reasons (as in “When I have childcare, I’m usually too busy to go to a luncheon”) but getting involved in my local professional organization was invaluable for my first few years in town, and working on my own.  If you work for yourself, or if you work at home, I’d really recommend not just going to meetings but actually volunteering your time. Most of my clients came from referrals of people that I met while on the board of my local organization.
• Get thee a support network – One of the best things that’s happened in recent years is that several friends of my have gone off on their own as well.  It’s been great for me, because it’s like a built-in support network of people who get it. We might not all do exactly the same thing, but its close enough that we can share ideas, commiserate (or congratulate) and address issues that might not be something your friend whose worked at the same job for 10 years can answer.

Most of these things can help you stay connected without pulling you outside of your work environment.  I’ve actually thought about Coworking as an option, but ultimately the way my day(s) are scheduled I would lose an hour of work time driving, parking and walking into the nearest coworking place. Maybe in the future it would help me be even more connected, but for now, these things keep me going.

My son and I on our way to one of our more sucessful client meetings.

I don’t know how to say this any better than how I put it in the title. When I tell people that I work at home, I so frequently get people remarking how great it is that I get to spend so much time with my son.  It is great, but if it were just him and I, all the time, I would get very few things get done.  My hardest lesson to learn over the past two years – that I can’t emphasize enough – is how important it is to have some sort of childcare arrangement worked out if you plan on working for yourself or working at home.

I learned this the hard way. When I started consulting, my son wasn’t in the picture. By the time he came around, two years later, I had enough of a groove going that I kind of mooshed him into my work day.  With all the naïve certainty that a new parent can have, I was positive that I could manage it all as he grew.

For a while, it worked.  My schedule was cobbled together with glue sticks and duct tape, but it worked.   Meetings were difficult, but most of my clients were very understanding when it came to giving me enough of a window to find childcare.  There were a few clients who so wanted me with them for meetings that, when I couldn’t get a sitter, would let me bring him in his little sling, and he slept while we talked marketing strategy. I know, I was very lucky.

Two things happened in the last two years that changed my outlook – I got more clients and he got bigger. Looking back now, I can honestly say I was crazy. And stupid. Maybe stupid-crazy.  Once he started walking, I had more difficulty managing, and I slowly brought in help.  First, my mom started coming to watch him two days a week. When that wasn’t enough, I worked out a deal with my husband that he would watch him on Saturdays and Sundays for 5 hours so I could cram some more work in. I would do a lot of work at night.

Everyone tried very hard, but I’ll tell you – trying to get work done with limited coverage time during the week is difficult. In addition to that, I totally ignored my personal life – I had no time for writing, creative pursuits, and other things (like sleep) that allow me enjoy life rather than plod through it.  Everything came to a head this February when I realized that I needed a more formal arrangement, so I brought in a babysitter to cover two days a week while my mom covers another two days a week.  Fridays are my day for him.

Despite the help, I’m still navigating my way.  My son often creeps into my work time, while my work time creeps into the time when I don’t have childcare.  I never have enough time to get everything I want to get done, done (and that is another post entirely).   At the same time, I try to be more aware of what I’m doing when we’re alone – just the two of us.  It would be unfair if I didn’t admit that last Friday, I had some things I REALLY needed to get out the door, so I popped in Bob the Builder for a few hours.  It would also be unfair to him if that was his life – having mom half in, half out of his day while she attended to something on the laptop.  My goal is to work when I have childcare and pay attention to him when I don’t.

It’s a process, trying to figu re out how much coverage you need, but in the end it lets you provide some much-needed fences up between your work life and your home life that can be so hard to find when you work on your own.

I have always been the person that cries to herself under the covers at night (with cheese in hand) rather than someone who has “Plan B” well thought out or written in stone.  I have vague ideas of “what would happen if…” but I’ve begun to believe that most of them (except for the very practical ones involving computer backups or childcare options) are just wishful thinking.  The practical things have mostly been helped along by my husband -  he’s been my saftey net and my partner in crime and the guy who lets me breathe a little bit easier when I’ve had to make up a Plan B out of whole cloth.

For me, the backup plan became my life.

Four years ago – this month – I decided to leave my job of six years, and do something new.  The job I took right out of the gate wasn’t a fit, and I started consulting. My consulting work led to a job, which, while wasn’t the best fit – was comfortable.  I floated into a existence that was working out. Then, I was laid off.

For the first ten years of my career, had you asked “What’s the worst thing that could happen to you?” I would have answered “Losing my job.” It was the absolute worst thing I could think of (and no, I didn’t have kids and my parents were relatively healthy, as was I – I can imagine many, more tangible, “worst things” now).  This is partly due to being a single woman who did NOT want to move back with her parents, and partly due to being in my 20s and having actually no idea what I wanted to do with my life, being single and somewhat defined by what I did all day long.

When I lost my job – the worst had happened. Except…it hadn’t. My old boss asked me to do some consulting work for them, and since I was 17 months pregnant, I figured I’d do that for a few months, until I had my son and things got back to normal.  While I was doing the “et things get back to normal” thing, I got another client, and then another…and then another, until I was consulting as full time as I was able to with a new kid. My backup plan became the new normal.

Because I’ve been doing “Plan B” for more than two years now, I’ve started thinking that I needed to come up with another backup plan. Truth is, I don’t have one.  I’m not sure I’ll create that “what next?” until the need for a what next happens. Do I lack that practical gene that lets me think through this stuff until it happens – or, do I? Do you have a backup plan? What’s Plan B for you?

Tell me I’m not the only one.

This is a typical workday outfit. Minus the kicky scarf and the pose. No jammies here!

I’ve probably perpetuated this myth myself on occasion (mostly to make my friends jealous).  While its true that I stay as far away from “office wear” as I possibly can, I do get dressed in the morning, including showering and doing my hair.  Part of it may be so that I can run to the store without scaring the rest of the population.  The other part is that I work better, and feel better if I’m actually dressed.  I’ve actually been known to slap on some lipstick and heels when I’m trying to write or am getting on a call, just for a pick me up.

I’ve talked to a number of people who work at home and was surprised that I’m not the only one – most people that I talk to also tend to get dressed in the morning.  We’re not all slapping on heels and lipstick, but it seems that a good portion of us are in “work mode” if we’re actually dressed.

When you work from home, its important to delineate “day” from “night” and “on time” from “off time.” Getting dressed is a big part of that.  I would recommend that anyone who makes the jump to working for yourself, or to working from home either continue or modify their morning routine to help put yourself in “work mode.”  In my last post, I talked about having office hours and how important that is, but making a transition between working and not by what you wear can be very helpful too.

Everybody has their own little rituals, and mine have changed over the years – now it’s wake up, have some coffee, feed the baby, get dressed and then hop online when the babysitter gets here for office hours.  If you work at home, what’s yours? I’d love to hear it! I’d especially love to hear from those who do work at night. What do you do?

Discipline: Not really like a flower, but this one did live under my office window for a time.

I’ve been consulting for three years, and every time I tell someone that I a) consult and b) do it from home, I get some version of the following statements:

“I’d love to do what you do, but I just don’t have the discipline.”
“Wouldn’t it be great to not have to get dressed in the morning?”
“It would be awesome to work at home and be with my kids!”
“Don’t you miss people?”
“I would get so much more done at home, but my boss would never go for it.”*

My answers usually go something like this:

“Yes, you do”
“I actually often get dressed in makeup and shoes for conference calls.”
“Working at home is not a substitute for childcare.”
“Yes….and no.”
“You would probably get more done at home…”

I’ve been thinking about working for myself a lot lately, and its something I really enjoy.  I love who I work with, I love my clients and I enjoy (and am often scared by) the fact that what I do is always a new adventure. I’ve written down my thoughts on the questions (and answers) above and have broken it down into a five part series that I’ll be posting over the next few weeks.  Most of it is just hard won experience, and I reserve the right to learn something new in the future.

Part One: Discipline is Something You Already Have

“I’d love to do what you do, but I just don’t have the discipline.”

I always get confused when I hear people say this because usually, the people who do are some of the most highly motivated people I’ve ever met.  On one hand, I can understand feeling like you don’t have the discipline to work from home or to self motivate.  For many who are used to cube life, it seems like your boss is your motivator – the bosses control your reviews, your projects, the teams you work on, and how you’re compensated.

Thing is, I’ve come to see bosses as just the catalyst for someone’s motivation.   They set things in motion, and point everyone in the right direction, but they don’t sit in your cube every day and watch you do your work.  They don’t hold your hand and wait for you to get your reports done.  They say, “Here’s what I need and when I need it” and then expect for you to have it done.   If you do, you get rewarded, if you don’t, you don’t.

When you work on your own, like I do, your clients are your catalysts.  Clients bring you a project, say (or ask) what they need and say when they need it by, you agree to a scope of work and then it’s your job to do it.  If you do it, you’ll probably keep that client and maybe get some recommendations from them to other jobs, if you don’t, well…you won’t keep them. The motivation comes from you – its just about who kick starts the work cycle.

For a while when I first started out, I had trouble motivating myself do certain things.  For example, for at least a year, I hated doing invoices.  I did them – but always sent them closer to the 10^th than the 1^st.  Didn’t keep records of who owed me what and when the invoices were due – basically, I drove my husband NUTS. Eventually I realized that this was something I had to do because no one was going to hold my hand while I did it (for the record, I asked, and my husband said no).

From an outside perspective, understand that you spend your career working for other people’s dreams.  When you work on your own, you’re working for your dreams. If you can make yourself work weekends or late hours for someone else, then you have the discipline to do it for yourself.

One of the things that keeps me in check, discipline wise, is to have office hours. My hours have changed over the last three years, but having some regular time set aside each week to work on projects or take meetings has really helped.  My family knows them (so they don’t bother me), my clients know them (so they do bother me), but more importantly, I know them, and I stick to them.

Because my boss can be a real pain when I skive off.  It’s like she lives with me or something….

I love podcasts. I love listening to them, I love finding them, and I love subscribing to them and then downloading entire back catalogs until I realize there is no way in heck I can listen to 200 hours of audio in this lifetime.

I came across podcasting in late 2004/early 2005 while doing research on new and interesting things for my clients to do while I was at New Media Strategies. I’m pretty sure the first show I ever listened to was Slice of Sci Fi, because most of my clients at the time were Sci Fi oriented and I’m a huge SF/Fantasy fan. I went on to listen to – or try to – as many podcasts as they recommended, as well as venturing into the realm of Podiobooks (podcast versions of audio books).

Over time, though, I found shows that matched up with my other hobbies – knitting, spinning, crafting and learning about science.  Since I started listening, I have probably listened to about 150 different podcasts (at this point, I’m regretting that iTunes doesn’t have a wayback machine feature that reminds you of stuff you’ve already looked at…or at least that I didn’t keep a list).  I go on stints where I’ll subscribe to a ton all at once, then will listen to as many as I can and delete the ones that don’t resonate.  I go through phases where I’ll delete all but my top five favorite podcasts and add others.  Sometimes, I revisit old friends that I stopped listening to.

On the whole, I listen to podcasts more frequently than I read blogs.  Its hard to work, chase after a small boy and  knit while reading a blog or a book (I’ve tried, believe me).  Listening to podcasts helps me learn, keeps me company and gives me something to listen to when I’m doing what I do.  Right now, my favorites are: Skeptoid, Monster Talk, Cast On, Escape Pod and Crafty Pod – a random assortment, but they are in line with my interests (science, knitting, & SF/Fantasy) to give me something like while also giving me something I wasn’t expecting.

I had a podcast for a while, and have toyed about starting another one up, but since I’m still working at getting the second issue of Strandszine off the ground, I’m going to sit on that urge for now.  However, for those of you who do put out a podcast, thanks, and I salute you!

I have a 19 month old son, and one thing I’ve been struggling with is how to accomplish everything I want to in a given time period (day, week, month, year).  The answer, as far as I’ve seen to date, is that I just can’t.  There’s no way I can actually do or accomplish every single goal I would like to in the time span that I would like to.  Anyone who says I can has never spent two hours picking vomit out of the back seat of their car when they had planned to do something else.

At this particular point in my life, I’ve come to accept (grudgingly) that rolling with the punches is more important that hitting all my goals within the fastest time possible. One thing I’ve learned in the last 19 months is to be easier on myself in terms of what I can do and what I have the energy to do.  I’m learning to scale back on the goals, or scale up on the time it takes to do them.  A great example is that I’ve learned cleaning the house takes about an hour longer than it did two years ago because I have to keep track of a little bit too. I may not hit the treadmill every day, or write every day, because things pop up, so I scale back on what I task myself with doing.

That being said, I’ve started tracking my time on non-work items as well, and its helping me with the sense of scale.  Just like when you start to diet, and they make you write down everything you eat, writing down how you spend your time is a great way to see where you’re helping and hindering yourself.  I have a tendency to multitask – listen to a podcast while cooking dinner is a great way to work things I like to do in with things I don’t, but watching TV while writing a blog post? Doesn’t actually help my concentration for either, and the blog post takes twice as long to write.

Knowing where you spend your time is a powerful way to see where you’re bleeding time, and a great deterrant for wasting time.  When you write it down – even for yourself – do you really want to say that you spent 45 minutes doing Google searches for where former cast members of Kids, Inc and the Mickey Mouse Club are?  I didn’t think so. (I’m embarrassed just to insinuate that I maybe did that recently.)

Do you track your time, or am I the only time nerd out there?